When the Heart's Speechless
by TheHamsterInMyMind
Summary: She could only speak as if she were still alive. Otherwise, the heart's crying was the only sound to be heard. [Oneshot]


**AN: **This was my first attempt with Reba fanfiction. I hope it's okay. () As always, feedback shall be appreciated.**  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Reba... and well, that pretty much sums it up. **

_**When the Heart**__** I**__**s Speechless**_

The young woman laid a bundle of fresh wildflowers on the tidy grave. It was sunny and bright, despite the prediction of light rains and thunderstorms later. The quaint little churchyard was quiet. She was the only one there today. Her shining red hair hung loose, pouring over the guitar that she clung onto tightly, like a lifeline. It had been _her_ last gift to her.

"It's been a while hasn't it mom? The band and I have been doing well; it's mostly the busy touring schedule that's been keeping me away. I promise that I haven't been avoiding you." An almost-smile crossed thin lips, set into a face much like that of her mom's: fair skin, thoughtful, a stubborn set to the chin…

She sat herself down next to the simple granite grave marker. "Your advice really helped you know. I wouldn't have expected it to, but dad told me later that you might have been a singer if you hadn't married him and settled down." She snorted. "Sometimes, I still wish you were here so I could ask what you were thinking… I've asked myself that so many times, and I got so angry. What were you thinking! You left us all alone. You left Jake, Elizabeth,… me. We're weren't done growing up yet. We needed you! Then there is little John. He's never going to remember his grandmother, he's never going to remember playing with her… getting those warm hugs and kisses… bribing extra treats from her by making cute puppy eyes and pouty lips." Her right hand fisted in the grass besides her as she fought the grief back down.

"We never expected it. I guess, you were so always there in the middle of everything… so controlling," she laughed imagining the glare she would have gotten from her mother for that. "You held us together and got us through so much. It was hard to imagine that you would be gone one day. I mean, we never even had a chance to say goodbye, did we?" She would never forget the night that they waited for her to come home… and she never did.

_"I'm sure everything's fine Van! __No, no!__ Van… Yes, I know she promised to watch Elizabeth! Yes, you have everything planned for Cheyenne… No, no Van, listen stop panicking! __You're__ just overreacting. Are you sure no one'__s home? Fine, bring her here." Brock let out a sigh of exasperation as he hung up the phone. Turning around to see Kyra standing there smiling amusedly at him while chomping on an apple, he rolled his eyes. _

_"Mom's not home yet?"_

_"No. I have no idea where she went, but apparently, she promised to watch Elizabeth tonight while Van tries to make it up to Cheyenne for forgetting to buy her that dress for the party yesterday. What are you doing over here anyways? Couldn't you watch Elizabeth?"_

_"And ruin this fun? I __don't think so__." _

_A minute later, Van had already barged in with Elizabeth in tow. "Thanks Mr. H! I owe you for this! __Oh, hey Kyra!__ See __ya__!" With that, he ran out to pick up Cheyenne and __hopefully__, make it for their reservation._

_Kyra smirked as she watched Brock let Elizabeth play with his hair despite the obvious pain and discomfort. She was already starting to speak in full, albeit short, sentences… sometimes, and seemed to have a particular liking towards pulling short hair. Her study of the cute scene (not that she would ever admit it) was abruptly cut short when Barbra Jean came home, tired out from her night "out on the streets." She was already about a third through her narration of her day when she noticed Elizabeth._

_"Why hi there, cutie!"__Her tone became accusing though when she turned to Brock. "Does Reba know you kidnapped her?" _

_"Barbra Je-"_

_"Uh-uh. I __don't__ want to be involved. 'Cause when my best friend's unhappy, I'm not happy, and when she's unhappy and angry… well… it's your fault if anyone asks."_

_"Barbra Jean! I-"_

_"Where's Henry?" Kyra smiled at the obvious change of topic. _

_Brock sighed, knowing that it was useless."He's upstairs in bed. He was tired out from the game today."_

_"Oh, good.__ Well, I'm going to take a shower then." However, she __didn't__ even make it to the stairs when Cheyenne stormed into the house with a pleading Van behind her._

_"Van, you're such an idiot!"_

_"Oh come on honey! How was I suppose to know that 'Super XXX Hot XXX Southern-style Service upon reservation and request' meant hot babes in tiny cowboy outfits?"_

_"__Ughh__… that's exactly my point! __And__ hot! Who said they were hot!"_

_"Uh, Cheyenne, are you sure you're not drinking again, because obviously __**I**__ just said it." _

_"__Thanks dad, but I'm bringing Elizabeth home now! Van might need a place to stay though!"_

_Barbra Jean decided to cut in at that moment though. "So Van, you went to Charlie's __Sizzlin__' __Baaaabyback__ Grill didn't you?" _

_Everyone stared at her. _

_"What?"_

_"How did you know the name?"_

_"Well, I had to pay for my education somehow. Big Daddy__ believed that self-support built character." They continued to stare… "I mean, not that I did any of the 'special services' stuff." She let out the awkward laugh she had whenever she said too much. "I mean, I just wasn't the type for it." _

_Finally, everyone shrugged it off and turned back to the argument, which was about to explode once again when Van accused Cheyenne of overreacting._

_"I'M OVERREACT-"_

_A knock cut her off and Brock let out a relieved sigh. __His__ relief __didn't__ last long however when he saw the uniformed officer on the other side of the door. "Can I help you?"_

_"We're looking for the family of Reba Nell Hart, and this was one of the locations listed in her workplace contacts." _

_Everyone immediately gathered towards him. "We're family." _

_"Well, yes," he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry to inform you that there has been an accident."_

"No one was quite the same after that night, mom. Perhaps the only blessing had been that Jake was at a friend's house. As it was, he was in denial for the longest time out of all of us. He locked himself in his room for about a week when he finally realized that you really weren't coming back. I think dad is still in shock though. He never quite recovered from that blow, and Barbara Jean… Barbara Jean took it really hard. She left for a while you know. She went back to Lubbock for a month before coming back. She was the one who took care of dad and Henry while making a living. And Van… mom, you would have been really proud of him. I knew you came to think of him as a son. He loved you like a mother too, but he hid his grief really well and kept everyone together. He kept in contact with BJ, handled dad's paperwork, looked after the small ones, and Cheyenne… I think he would have given her the moon if it could have made her better. She was a wreck. It didn't help that Elizabeth cried for you for the longest time afterwards, asking, "Where's Gamma?" The woman let out a light laugh at that, though there was a wet edge to it. "And me… well, I've survived. I think that's what you would have wanted."

She wiped the single tear that had leaked out as she stared up at the sky. The clouds were already starting to roll in.

"You had always been our hero mom. Who knew you would turn into a real one too? I hated that kid for the longest time you know. Resented him because you traded your life for his. And that drunk driver… I know you always told us that God told us to forgive, but would you be terribly disappointed if I told you that I was happy he was sentenced to twenty-five years in prison, that I wished that it had been more?"

She picked up the guitar out of the grass. The remaining sunlight glistened off the strings and the well- polished wood.

"I'm going to have to leave soon, but I just want to give you a song I wrote mom."

_What are these memories?_

_These lost chances that plague __me?_

_There __was so much left__ unsaid…_

_Now all __that's__ left…_

_After all these regrets…_

_What is left after all this __time_

_But__ memory?_

_Those hands that __were loving_

_So warm and strong,_

_Weaves through my hair every night_

_In my mind._

_Those lips and that voice,_

_So pure and unforgettable_

_Like no one __else's__ in my ears_

_Haunt every waking hour and day..._

_So after all these regrets_

_What is left after all this __time_

_But__ memory?_

_Those arms that held me_

_In the best of times_

_And worst, firm and stubborn_

_Still wrap around me all the time._

_And__ those eyes, those crystalline eyes!_

_They saw me, __they knew me_

_And__ they reminded me each day,_

_Even now…__ That your love…_

_Is the true Memory I __have._

"That song is for you, mom. I hope you like it. It's actually our new single, and can you believe it? It's actually climbing up the charts… the country charts." She laughed. "You loved country music, so I guess it is fitting in a way." She packed up her guitar and got up. "I really have to go mom. I know I didn't say it nearly enough, but I love you. I'll be back again."

The heavens poured open, crying the tears that she refused to let go of, and in the sound of the rolling thunder and falling rain, the whisper of a familiar angel's lullaby floated through.


End file.
